BEAUTY FOR ASHES
Hello! Happy New Year to you & Happy Birthday to meee!!! This is my very first blog post of 2020 and I am ever so grateful to my creator for another year of life and for another chance to share my creative work and passion with you all.
With the onset of my birthday as well as a new decade, I am inclined to reflect on my life thus far but more importantly I am making a conscious choice to be as present to every moment as I can. 2019 was one of the most heartbreaking yet vulnerable years of my adult life. I use yet as my conjunction because oftentimes vulnerability is viewed as a weakness but those who choose it’s uncomfortable embrace find there is deep strength and power in it.
Truths were revealed to me in bits like that of a 500 piece puzzle; one where I craftily fit some of the pieces together and then decided to let go of the other unassembled parts - this I call surrender. Oftentimes in life, to move forward one has to let go and though this sounds simple enough, if you’ve ever practiced surrender, you know handing over pain caused by disappointment and confusion is no easy feat. However, deep inside, my Spirit has a knowledge that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose” so I understood that as devastating as this experience was- it was (and is) part of the unfolding of my destiny story.
I felt my ALL my feelings y’all, still continue to do so and though this experience shattered the very world I knew to exist, it deepened my faith and understanding of life. I knew God was there with me and has never left my side because the God of the mountain is the God of the valley! He equipped me with all that is necessary to be in the valley and gifted me a loving support system of family & friends who I am grateful for.
While I still remain a pretty private person, part of the process of cracking open meant that I chose to share vulnerable stories with my loved ones as well as you. One such share with you was publishing A Chapter Of My Story. While working through that piece I made a conscious decision to take the more challenging route and share it with you in a way that honored who I am and anyone facing a similar situation. I steered away from feeding the ego, who in all honesty wanted to write an exposé. In the end that post would prove to be impactful; touching many women who in turn reached out (and continue to reach out) to share their stories with me. For that I am truly thankful for the power of connectivity held in vulnerability.
As I enter this season of my life, I am coming to a very personal place where I am practicing being grateful for every experience; good, bad and in between. It’s quite easy to practice gratitude when everything is swell and dandy but being grateful during challenging times takes resilient and consistent work. I’m reminded of this little poem by Mary Oliver that I’d like to share with you below.
This poem resonates deeply with me and my birthday wish is for us (no matter what we’re going through in life) to be present to our experiences, find the gift/lesson in all of it and grow. 2020 is our year of expansion!
“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory.”
p.s. My outfit was made by my talented Mom and is inspired by the 9 way dress from the 1940s. My earrings were handcrafted by my creative big sister and later this year I’ll have a little surprise for you, so stay tuned!